The trickiest part of being a consultant to an organization is when you get caught in a cross-fire between two departments. I happened to be a part of such a meeting a couple of days back.

What started as a "high-powered" meeting to freeze on the business plan for this organization (dilligently prepared by us and already approved by the CEO in his chamber a few days prior to the meeting ;-)) quickly turned into a slugfest which a HOD claiming the targets set for his business unit were too ambitious and hurling accusations at the other about how he garnered sympathy from the CEO (and hence softer targets) by painting a false picture of the market.

With the HODs leading the way, their flunkies¹ quickly joined the fray. With tempers soaring, we shifted uneasily in our seats as we watched the organization wash its dirty linen in front us.

Soon the debate came to be centred around a particular statistic reported in one of the corporate MIS. With everyone quoting figures supporting their argument, it became imperative to ascertain the correct number. But the gatekeeper of all information, the head of MIS cell, was not a part of this meeting. With the speaker phone on full blast, attempts were made to reach him at his desk. But he was not there. One of the flunkie quickly dialed his cell phone number. By this time almost everyone had stood up, with the two HODs fuming at each other from across the table, flanked by their set of flunkies. And then it happened.....the nasal voice of Himesh Reshammiya going Suroooooooooor filled the board room for the next two minutes. As it later turned out, this guy was driving and hence he could not pick up the phone.

Amid chuckles of laughter, tempers in the board room plummeted and the CEO decided it was the right time to call for a lunch break. With steaming "executive thalis" brought into the room, people directed all their attention to polishing it off. By the end of the meal, people were back to their back-slapping mode with a few flunkies of both camps even going out for a smoke together.

A big showdown was averted by the timely intervention of Himesh Reshammiya and another note was added to the Survival Guide for Consultants The next time you call me and hear 'Surooooor' or 'Aashiq Banaya...', well, don't be surprised :-)


¹A flunk/ flunkie typically refers to the junior most in the corporate hierarchy and hence those who get burdened by the most shittiest of jobs (like moi)